Smile Although your Heart is Breaking
by thecompletebookworm
Summary: Eloise Midgen was never noticed by anybody except for her terrible acne, until she met Collin Creevey. He really made her feel special, like someone beyond her skin condition. And then he had to go die in the Battle of Hogwarts.


**This was written for MamaGoob's It takes 12 to make a Quorum Challenge on the HPFC. My pairing is Eloise/Collin. My overall prompt is Heartbreak. This chapter's prompt is Melodies. **

Eloise sat down on her bed. She thought the old surrounding would be more welcoming, make the pain hurt a little less. It was the first time she was back at her childhood home in a rather long time – not since the very beginning of 6th year, not since the end of the war. Nothing was as it was supposed to be. It was darker than she remembered but it suited her. Eloise doubted she'd be able to stand the bright yellow wallpaper anymore. She'd changed just as much as the world outside the window had.

Gone were the dancing fields of flowers, the clear blue sky, sweet melodies, the bliss of knowing you'd live another day. The war had taken all that from them. It had taken much more.

The castle, her second home, laid in ruins. It hadn't mattered that she was only a Hufflepuff. Eloise had playeda part in protecting it and had done even more for the rebuilding. It was behind the scenes work, just as she liked it. She hated the spotlight. Self-conscious from the moment all the acne had started to appear on her face, Eloise had prepared for a life in the background. After all if they can't say anything nice, don't let them say anything at all.

Meek, willing to help anyone with their problems but unwilling to help herself, shy and alone were the words best used to describe her. Not that people did that very often.

Eloise let out a shaky laugh, it sounded forced even to her. She had accepted that. It was the way of life for there to be outcasts. It didn't make it any easier knowing you were that person, though she hadn't cared, hadn't really let herself care. They could laugh at her looks; it didn't matter. What was on the inside was what mattered. And Eloise sighed; that sounded a lot like something out of one of Colin's Muggle movies.

Colin. 4 months, 11 days and 3 hours and 33 minutes. The pain burned just as brightly as it did the day she saw him. Eloise swore she got him out of the castle with everyone else underage. Eloise marched him all the way to right outside the Room of Requirement on the pretense that she was taking over Hannah's prefect duty so Hannah could continue planning with the others in the Great Hall.

"Really El." He was practically pleading with her. "Get yourself out. I'll stay here."

She regretted it now but she gave him a stern glare. "It's my battle just as much as yours. Just because I'm no Gryffindor, doesn't mean I can't help. They'll be more wounded than Madam Pomfrey will be able to handle."

"Eloise." Colin paused, not knowing how to continue. "You never have been the best at offensive spells."

"Do you think I don't know that?" she snapped, her patience already stretched well past its breaking point. "But I'm not standing aside. Not this time. Just go." She'd fled long enough. Her father had pulled her out 6th year so she could do nothing but cower in fear. Eloise pushed him into the crowd.

Colin stopped. "Just stay safe," he said as the congested hallway emptied.

"And I will. But I'll be better knowing you're out of here, "she said, tying back her hair, preparing for what could possibly be her last stand.

Colin leaned in and kissed her gently. A fleeting feeling of comfort ran through Eloise. The world disappeared. They were safe, even if only for the shortest while. It was like they had both been transferred back to 5th year. Those stolen hours seemed so far away. He was her lifeline and she couldn't afford to lose him. Eloise broke the kiss. "Go find Dennis. He'll need you." She didn't dare mention just how much she needed him too.

"Why can't I stay? Is it a crime to fight for what is mine?"

"You're underage." She felt like his mother saying it but she wasn't about to let him risk his life.

"Like that matters, I'll be seventeen in a month," he announced. "I'm staying."

She was tired of fighting with him. "Just go Colin."

His face set in determination. Colin started towards the trail of stragglers, including his fellow Gryffindor Ginny Weasley. He turned around one last time. "I love you."

"I love you too," she whispered. Colin gave her a reassuring smile. Everything was going to be all right.

Except it wasn't. Death and despair reigned supreme. Eloise darted around in the background under her attempt at a disillusionment charm. It wasn't very strong, but still many did not notice her, their vision obscured by the falling debris of the castle at some point they had each called home, and the blinding flashes of multicolored light. Eloise healed a best as she could and when there was no longer any hope for the victim, for there was only so much an 18 year old could do, she'd set up simple protective charms. Eloise wanted to make sure all the family members would be able to recognize the remains and not have to add the pain of not knowing to their sorrow. Howls of anguish already broke through the fighting.

The emeralds of the Slytherin hourglass lay sprawled across the floor. Eloise picked her way through them cautiously. She was knocked off balance by the heavy wooden front door flying open. A flood of spiders reared. They were no little spiders. They were the stuff of Eloise's nightmares. Large, black, hairy with foot long pincers. Eloise backed away, no longer worrying about staying unseen. She wanted to put as much distance between herself and the Acromantula as possible.

"Don't hurt 'em, don't hurt 'em!" the Care of Magical Creatures professor, Hagrid, yelled.

Eloise continued moving. Her only thoughts of getting away from the creatures she feared. It was why she'd never actually taken Care of Magical Creatures. Eloise would panic.

The spiders began to retreat. Eloise finally noticed the body at her feet. Lavender Brown had never been kind to her. Lavender was the gossipy type who took delight in other's minor misfortune (including Eloise's acne). They'd never seen eye to eye.

Eloise yanked the cork out of the dittany bottle. Lavender no longer looked much like a human being. She was crumpled, lying in a fetal position. Deep cuts ran up and down the length of her body. Her leg jutted out at an awkward angle. It looked to be broken in at least three places.

Eloise dabbed drops of the dittany on the worst of Lavender's wounds. She used it sparingly. There was a small chance Lavender would recover without the attention of a professionally trained healer. Eloise had next to no experience. She'd learnt simple things under Madam Pomfrey's guidance. Professor Sprout and Madam Pomfrey had been more than willing to help Eloise with her quest to become a healer when she asked about it during OWL career talks. Those lessons had paid off more than they could have ever imagined.

"You have fought," said a high, cold voice echoing from the very fiber of the castle itself, "valiantly. Lord Voldemort knows how to value bravery."

Eloise suppressed a shudder at the name. It no longer held much power. She was currently in the middle of a battle with the world caving in around her. It was an ingrained habit, one she'd probably never be able to shake. "Yet you have sustained heavy losses. If you continue to resist me, you will all die, one by one. I do not wish this to happen. Every drop of magical blood spilled is a loss and a waste. Lord Voldemort is merciful. I command my forces to retreat immediately."

Death Eaters left the halls as if timed, in the single second the wards for apparition were down. He-Who-Must-Not-Be-Named had all the pieces in his hand. "You have one hour. Dispose of your dead with dignity. Treat your injured."

It was hope at least. There was always a light in the clouds of despair. Lavender might be able to make it, along with the others. There was time to gather reinforcements. The battle had not yet been lost.

* * *

><p>She never felt more powerless than when she came across his body. Eloise hadn't wanted to believe it. He wasn't dead. Colin couldn't be dead. His blank blue eyes still stared into her. They did not hold the joy and laughter they used to, the light. He was gone. All that was left was his empty shell. She tried countless healing charms anyway. Eloise only stopped when Madam Pomfrey came over to her.<p>

"He's gone, dear."

Eloise lost it. She'd been holding herself together in the slightest hope that she'd missed something. That everything was going to be all right. She let her cries join the many others already mourning the 50 others heroes killed in their final battle.

Hogwarts had won the war, but many had been lost, more than just those who had died. Eloise would never notice the beautiful sunrise of a new day or the enchanting melodies the birds greeted it with. She was just as lost and hopeless as the cold bodies that lay in front of her.


End file.
